Today, I found out how sucky our thesis really is.

I read a review which says that it was the most boring thing he has seen in the two days of the festival (buti nalang hindi sa whole history of the festival, hahaha!). And that he wouldn't wish upon friends, and that it was overwhelming - crammed with information and it was preachy; and basically, that the whole thing didn't work. And there were some words about being a lazy bum. 

I was gutted.

It's devastating because it's true. We crammed it, and it was crammed because we procrastinated, and we procrastinated because we got lazy. It hurts, because you want your film to be anything but boring. Mas ok nang bad kesa boring. I can't help but agree though.  Nung pinanood ko kasi recently ulit, nabewilder narin talaga ako sa sarili ko, parang, "hell, I can't believe pinapanood talaga namin yun ng ganung state." Anchaka nga talaga, and I'm not proud of it. Hindi pa nga napapanood ng parents ko eh. Even my closest friends haven't watched it. So I agree din talaga dun sa last sentence niya, na he wouldn't wish it upon friends. I didn't - for the most part. Isa pa lang talaga ang sinubmit ko sa ganung torture. Haha. Kasi ang boring nga naman talaga, pero shet the truth hurts. And it makes me mad! Not the review, of course, I'm actually glad he wrote about it. I'm mad at myself, because of my lower than mediocre status. Because it was supposed to be my best and it wasn't. Because it could've been something more. Because a thesis should be something you're proud of. Because it should bring honor and excellence, and well, those are sorely missing. 

And narealize ko din talaga nambonggz what a lazy bum I am lately. For this year and the past, andami kong tengga moments; nothing productive to show for it. Every day I become lazier, I become stupider. I become poorer, too. This has to stop. Thank you, dear reviewer, for your honest review. I can only do better.